A BIG Club

BY KEVIN KERNAN

Send in the Clowns.

Don’t bother, they’re here.

You know it is the start of spring training when injuries come fast and furious. Injuries from nowhere. Injuries from off-season training programs. Injuries that are never mentioned in the glowing offseason media accounts or kumbaya FanFests, where everything is working perfectly in Nerd World.

The camps opened early this week because of the early opening of the season in Japan, and that has already revealed some basic baseball truths; and like the swallows returning to Capistrano, the clowns are returning to the ballfield.

Basically, the baseball equivalent of Ball Don’t Lie.

Let’s review some at Baseball or Bust.

The “you’ve got to be kiddin’ me’’ moment belongs once again to the Angels and third baseman Anthony Rendon, the multi-multi-millionaire player who seems to hate baseball. He is going to need left hip surgery. That was revealed Wednesday.

Who knows if he will ever make it back to a major league game.

Rendon, 34, is the ultimate free agent buyer beware story. Here is a piece of advice. Don’t ever sign a monster free agent on Friday the 13th.

December 13th, 2019 was the day when the Angels and Rendon came to an agreement on a bewildering seven-year, $245 million deal. The Angels needed starting pitching that offseason – they still need starting pitching – but they signed the third baseman and  owner Arte Moreno may as well have set his cash on fire. And it really was a Friday the 13th, I looked it up.

A few days later at a press conference, then-GM Billy Eppler said these words about Rendon. “He is someone that embodies a lot of the characteristics we like in our players. When he’s playing the game he is calm and cool and just very measured. He doesn’t get too high and doesn’t get too low. He’s obviously an impact player so we’re happy to get him here.’’

Rendon never played more than 58 games in a season for the Angels, hit only .242, managed just 22 home runs and 125 RBI. That comes to basically $11 million per home run. Ouch.

Way to go Billy.

Way to go Arte.

That contract takes the heat off Jacoby Ellsbury’s Yankee contract as being the worst of the moving to a new team free agent signings imaginable.

In December of 2013, not on Friday the 13th, the Yankees signed Ellsbury to a seven-year, $153 million contract. It didn’t work out. Interestingly enough, Billy Eppler was the assistant GM of the Yankees in 2013. So it goes. Eppler was the GM when the Mets signed Max Scherzer to a three-year, $130 million deal and Justin Verlander to a two-year deal worth $86.7 million. Like I said, so it goes.

Front office blunders come and go but somehow those in charge never seem to go away, they just wind up with new front office jobs. Chaim Bloom has resurfaced in a power position with the St. Louis Cardinals after blowing it with the Red Sox; remember, he got so little in return for Mookie Betts. The Dodgers recently brought Farhan Zaidi back into the fold after he ran the San Francisco Giants into the ground.

If you can’t beat ‘em Farhan, rejoin them in a nice cushy role.

As comedian George Carlin once brilliantly said, and he could have been talking about Major League Baseball front offices: “It’s a BIG club and you ain’t in it.’’.

The Dodgers are the defending champs so they can do whatever they want with their multiple layered front office.

As comedian George Carlin once brilliantly said, and he could have been talking about Major League Baseball front offices: “It’s a BIG club and you ain’t in it.’’

I once spent a cross-country flight as a first class seatmate with Carlin, it was George Carlin Live for 3,000 miles. Awesome.

He was right. It is a big club. Lots of Nerds.

Experienced baseball teachers are out as well as most experienced scouts. Get a top job, though, and you are set in baseball for life, one way or another, with one team or another.

Which brings us to another joke of a team, a team that told its fans on Wednesday, “Oh, by the way, remember that key bat we traded for because we have such offensive problems? Well, turns out he is hurt and last week underwent a procedure on his right wrist.’’

Right wrist, hitter… no big deal.

That would be the sad sack Pirates, a team that has the best young pitcher in the game in Paul Skenes, thanks to stinking it up and getting the top draft pick in the 2023 draft.

Too bad the best young pitcher comes with the worst owner.

No matter how bad the situation is you can count on the Pittsburgh Pirates making it worse. Pity the poor Pirates fan. Living the high life of having Paul Skenes only to realize the Pirates are doing their absolute best to ruin the early seasons of The Great Draft Gift.

The Pirates won only 76 games last season and considering Skenes went 11-3 to win the NL Rookie of the Year honors, the team managed only 65 victories without the dynamic right-hander.

Now it would be common sense baseball to build on that success and add much needed talent to the Bucs this off-season to try to make a playoff run, but that didn’t happen because owner Bob Nutting is incredibly cheap when it comes to beefing up his baseball team. You could say he has the fans by the Nutting.

MLB does not hold Nutting accountable, which makes matters worse.

The big offseason acquisition was first baseman Spencer Horwitz. He was acquired from the Blue Jays as part of a three-team trade to bolster the Pirates’ anemic offense. Pirates general manager Ben Cherington said on Wednesday the team was aware that Horwitz had a wrist issue BEFORE they made the trade for him, but that Horwitz experienced new symptoms when he ramped up his hitting program.

Longtime excellent Pirates beat reporter John Perrotto said on X Wednesday that Horwitz told him the surgery was to repair the extender in his right thumb and that the operation was performed last week.

All that wrist and thumb stuff is quite vital to a hitter so this will set the Pirates back even more as first base is a pivotal position. Anthony Rizzo remains on the free agent market, by the way. Ironically, the Pirates signed hefty Daniel Vogelbach to be a special assistant to the hitting department. Take some grounders big guy!

The Pirates need to beef up the offense because in 2024, Cherington’s merry band of out-makers were 25th in home runs, 23rd in batting average (.234), 27th in slugging percentage (.371) and 28th in on-base percentage (.301).

They are the Pathetic Pirates. Their cannon balls are duds. While Skenes was a can’t miss No. 1 pick, the Pirates also had the No. 1 pick in the 2021 draft and chose catcher Henry Davis, who in 99 career games owns a .191/.283/.307 slash line. When Cherington took over the team he made sweeping changes throughout the organization, firing some quality baseball people, some I know quite well. It was sad to see and the Pirates are no better for it.

Since taking over, Cherington’s Pathetic Pirates have finished last, last, next to last, next to last, and last. Now in games behind the first place NL Central team, and remember this is the weak NL Central, his teams have finished 15 games behind, 34 games back, 31 back, 16 back and 17 behind this past season.

There is quite the room for improvement. Paul Skenes already must be counting the days until he can get out of Pittsburgh. It is a beautiful ballpark, though. Clearly, Nutting is not the only problem with running the Pirates. If Cherington were to be let go, he most likely would wind up with one of those special assistant type Farhan Zaidi jobs because he is in The Club.

To paraphrase George Carlin, “It’s a BIG club, and baseball people ain’t in it.’’

The same mistakes are made over and over, teams talk about improving the culture and then hand out ridiculous contracts to players like Rendon who one day happened to mention baseball “has never been a top priority.’’

Terrible teams make trades for someone who has a wrist issue they say they were aware of going into the trade and suddenly a new issue develops when the player ramps up his hitting, imagine that.

I’m no doctor, but here is some advice:

“Dem bones, dem bones … the thigh bone’s connected to the hip bone – the hip bone is connected to the backbone …’’

And we haven’t even gotten to the pitching injuries yet. Those issues are already starting before one pitch has been fired in a spring game. The Yankees bullpen will be without Jake Cousins for a while; keep spinning it, fellas.

Teams like the Yankees are able to outspend their mistakes. Right now they are saddled with Marcus Stroman, at some point whatever team he is on, that team seems to be saddled with Marcus Stroman, something we seem to read nearly every spring. Stroman is a competitor though. The Yankees will ride this out for now and perhaps Stroman, who will make $18.5 million this year, will find a way to contribute. He was 10-9 last season with a 4.31 ERA. His last four games were especially ugly with an 0-3 mark and an 8.80 ERA. At some point the Yankees hope to find a trade partner for Stroman. Good luck.

Finally, a word on OMG!

The Mets did what they had to do and signed Juan Soto and re-signed Pete Alonso. Kudos. But the funny thing about baseball is that it is not always about the superstars. I’m a big believer in glue guys who help set a tone and veteran infielder Jose Iglesias is just such a player, but it appears the Mets have moved on from the OMG Man. The Mets want to be younger and more flexible at that spot. I get it and Iglesias is 35. But I think that is a bad decision. Iglesias was more than numbers and he hit a respectable .283.

Hey, perhaps the Pirates will sign him. They could use the help.