Nerdity

BY KEVIN KERNAN

They want you to believe it is Parity.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, parity is the quality or state of being equal or equivalent.

What it really is, what really is happening across the board in MLB is this: Nerdity.

For the most part, all teams are run off the same Nerd handbook nowadays and that explains why everyone is so bad as the MLB regular season came to a closing thud on Sunday.

One of Rob Manfred’s legacies is that regular season excitement has all but disappeared because of Manfred and the owners desire to extend the postseason, so now 12 teams make the playoffs. It is has become a watered-down, everybody into the October pool.

And for terrible teams that could not manage to make the watered-down playoffs – like the 74-85 Mets, who spent $345.8 million to be embarrassed – the answer is NOT to hire more baseball men to help David Stearns realize you can’t replace the franchise’s all-time home run hitter Pete Alonso with a utility player who is constantly hurt, like Jorge Polanco; no, the answer is to hire MORE Nerds. Brilliant.

More on the Mets later.

First, though, the American League is the worst I can ever remember it. There were only two 90-win teams in the AL, the AL East winning Rays led the way with 98 wins while the Yankees checked in at second place with 93 victories. I’m old enough to remember when the Yankees used to win divisions. Ten American League teams were under .500 going into the last day of the regular season. The AL West was won by the Astros with an 81-81 record. To win a division you don’t have to be good, just be mediocre.

The AL Central was once again won by the 85-win Guardians, a franchise that has had nothing but disappointing Octobers since 1948.

The Nerds in their never-ending quest to re-invent baseball, have gotten away from what baseball is all about. You know the drill. It is no longer about the scoreboard, the game is governed by expected outcomes instead of real outcomes. Lace an 80-mph single the other way to score a run and that is no longer a good thing, it is better to hit the ball hard in the air for an out.

Taking a 93-mph fastball right down the middle for strike three is not frowned upon because strikeouts don’t matter … But, of course, they do matter and thank goodness for the Rays and the Brewers, who still have enough baseball people in their organizations, to still believe in The Game.

The Rays payroll is $98.4 million. Nothing like the Mets or Yankees for that matter. Yet that money was spent much more wisely. The Rays struck out the fewest times in Major League Baseball with 1143 Ks as they have married the world of analytics with the world of real baseball.

By winning the division, the Guardians shot yet another hole into the owners’ salary cap argument. The Rays have the sixth-lowest payroll. Three teams with the six-lowest payrolls will be in the playoffs because you can add the Chicago White Sox to that list. The White Sox payroll is $98 million.

As I mentioned, the Brewers have pretty much done the same thing and as I have noted before, and it is worth noting again, I am rooting for the Brewers to win the NL pennant and the Rays to win the AL pennant and for both teams to meet in the World Series. The Rays and Brewers also were No. 1 and No. 2 in bunts and bunt hits this season.

For the record, they were 22nd and 28th in home runs.

If they do both make it, I already have a name for that World Series.

I am going to call it The Salary Cap World Series because the owners are crying that the only way for baseball to be competitive is to invoke a salary cap and they are willing to shut down the 2027 season to have their way. As noted, the Rays have a $98.4 million payroll while the Brewers have a $145.4 million payroll — and they have the most wins in baseball with 103. The mighty expensive Dodgers won 100 games, so the NL had two teams hit the century win mark.

The team with the lowest payroll is the Guardians at $74.2 million, according to numbers obtained by my longtime friend Bob Nightengale. But the Guardians do have the advantage of playing in the always average AL Central.

By winning the division, the Guardians shot yet another hole into the owners’ salary cap argument. The Rays have the sixth-lowest payroll. Three teams with the six-lowest payrolls will be in the playoffs because you can add the Chicago White Sox to that list. The White Sox payroll is $98 million.

The Dodgers are right behind the Mets in payroll at $338 million and they are looking to win their third straight World Series. Money sure can help coverup mistakes – witness the Yankees at $304.6 million, the Phillies at $291.7 million, the Braves at $263.9 million, the Astros at $249.5 million, the Cubs at $248.8 million, the Padres at $223.9 million, and the Red Sox at $210.2 million – but it also comes down to having baseball common sense and managers who hold their players accountable. That is something the Nerds constantly miscalculate.

Why?

Simple. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. The Nerds don’t know baseball. They prove it all the time.

Back to the Mets again to help make my point, and I also want to point out this is not a David Stearns mistake. Yes, the Mets did not make the playoffs with all that money and all that misguided talent, good job Stearnsy, but they do get an assist for the Cubs making the postseason.

You see it was the Mets who made one of the worst trades in the history of the game. Under the then leadership of Zack Scott in 2021, the Mets traded 19-year-old Pete Crow-Armstrong for infielder Javier Baez and pitcher Trevor Williams. I am still amazed at that deal because people knew that PCA had the potential to be something special. PCA put the exclamation point on the trade this year, becoming a 40-40 man.

So, see, you can’t blame David Stearns for all the Mets woes.

It takes a village of Nerds to ruin a team, and acting GM Zack Scott, under then-new owner Steve Cohen, certainly played his part in 2021.

In a way this is the playoffs of terrible trades because as I have mentioned before, it was the Dodgers who traded a young Yordan Alvarez in 2016 to the Astros for RHP Josh Fields with Astros scouts pushing hard to make the deal, while the Guardians – then the Indians – traded future superstar Junior Caminero in 2021 for right-handed pitcher Tobias Myers. In 2021, it turns out, the Cubs and Rays got their key playoff hitters for 2026.

Would have loved to see Pete Crow-Armstrong and Pete Alonso together on the field for the Mets, but then again, it is the Mets.

Just a thought, but that is 88 home runs the Mets could have had from them this year if they had kept both PCA and the Polar Bear. There is a clear answer here Steve Cohen, don’t let your Nerds get rid of players named Pete.

And that kind of bolsters my point that we are not dealing with parity here as much as we are dealing with Nerdity.

Starting on Tuesday when the playoffs begin, the charade of being “contenders’’ will end quickly for teams. And this is a 12-team playoff charade. I know I am a fossil because I actually remember one team winning the American League and one team winning the National League and those two teams meeting in a World Series that could complete seven magical games, like the 1960 Pirates and Yankees did by October 13^th at 3:36 in the afternoon. I am not expecting to go back in time to only two October teams, but clearly there are way too many October teams now with 12 and also way too many champagne celebrations for teams, who in reality haven’t won anything yet.

To go from two October teams in my lifetime to 12 October teams is quite startling, even the Nerds, who live for numbers, may understand that. The best thing about the postseason now is that at least baseball is done with the Fake Runner. And I know broadcasters like to call it the Free Runner or the Extra Runner, but be honest with your viewers, that is a Fake Runner, he appeared out of thin air and was put on second base because he made the last out the previous inning.

Like Christmas ornaments in January, though, the Fake Runner is packed away in a box until the next regular season.

Teams are going to be on their own in producing runs, as crazy as that sounds.

By the way, I’m sure it just happened to happen this way, but as my always observant baseball friend from Carlsbad, California texted me on Sunday: “MLB should add the interlocking Yankees NY to its logo, the only wild card team to get Saturday and Sunday off before the Wild Card Series begin, yet they sent the Red Sox and Cubs from Boston to the Trop … Make it more obvious.’’

You just know for ratings sake MLB would love to see the Yankees in the World Series, and the Yankees have that chance with an overall weak AL field.

The Red Sox have to come to Yankee Stadium, while the Cubs must fly out to San Diego to face the Padres. The other two Wild Card Series will feature the Phillies – who somehow survived the Phillies, yes, you read that correctly – will travel to Atlanta while the 84-win White Sox face the .500 Astros.

Nerding Season is over, let the best baseball team win.